We've asked our play therapists, Kate Smith and Annmarie Boon, to answer some frequently asked questions about how parents can help their children maximise the enjoyment they get from playing board games.
Here's what they say:
Question 1: My child loses interest in playing a board game if she is not winning. What can I do to teach her that she doesn't have to win every time?
Answer: We can't all win all of the time and teaching this to a child is an important social skill that should be learned at an early age. We want our children to strive to do their best but, at the same time, accept that there is also always a next time. Children learn by example, so if you are relaxed and having fun, your child will too. It is also important to choose a game that reflects your child's strengths for example, if your child is good at drawing - play a game that involves drawing so that, even if your child is not winning, they are doing something they enjoy.
Positive reinforcement is also key - encourage your child even if they are not winning so they feel good about themselves just by playing. Make sure to emphasise the amazing way they played - this will build up your child's morale and self confidence. They may feel miserable or disheartened that they lost, but they can feel good about what and how well they played. The more your child plays and is encouraged, the less these feelings should occur.
Question 2: My 9 year old likes to cheat while playing board games. What can I do to encourage him to play fairly?
Answer: Cheating should never be ignored, as this encourages or even condones the behaviour for the child. A child will often cheat if they are very competitive and don't like to lose. You should always lead by example and winning should never be the only object of the game.
Playing in teams and showing your child how to play fairly will help them to see how games can be fun without cheating. Always encourage and cheer on your child whether they win or lose. If you are playing a game with your child and it is just the two of you, don't allow them to win every game. Playing fairly against them with just a little assistance teaches them to think and work out how to really play the game. This allows your child to develop cognitive thinking, which will improve their playing skills in the future.
Question 3: Is it wrong to encourage my child to be competitive while playing board games?
Answer: There's nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition, but I stress the word healthy! For young children it is better to encourage participation and fun especially if they are playing with older siblings who are more likely to win. For older children who understand that winning and losing are not the 'be all or end all', some healthy competition is no harm and can benefit the child later in life by giving them a competitive edge. Competition is not a bad thing and can actually add to the enjoyment of the game, so long as it does not become the only thing that matters. Win or lose it is always important to give your child positive encouragement and support.
Question 4: My child is a really sore loser. What can I do to help him understand that participation is just as important as winning?
Answer: Children observe far more than we realise. If by winning, a child is given huge praise and prizes, the child who loses will also crave this attention and act up when they don't receive it. Instead, give your children examples of when you've been in their situation. This can make them see that they are not the only person that has ever lost a game. Talk about times when you lost something in your youth and how upset you felt, but how you still loved playing anyway.
While playing, give all children praise for the part they play. Obviously it is ok to congratulate the winner, but don't forget to do the same for anyone who didn't win and give them positive feedback about how they played. It is also important to try and play different games each time, so that each child plays something that they are good at and that is age appropriate for them. This will make sure that the same child is not always the winner. However, continuously losing games will also be disheartening for a child, so if you are playing with older children try and ask them to help the younger players. Encouraging the older children to help the younger children is good for both.
Question 5: My kids just want to watch TV. What can I do to get them more interested in playing board games?
This is a big concern for most parents these days as the amount of time children spend in front of screens, whether it is TV, DVD, video, computer or playstation, is alarming. When children focus their attention on a screen, it is a very passive form of learning or entertainment. In this environment, children don't use their own imaginations to learn about the world and create something or simply play a game with someone which would require social interaction. Children are passive recipients of visual and auditory stimulation and they learn through the process of play.
To encourage your child to play, set up a safe play space that is child friendly and stock it with games and toys that will spark your child's imagination and creativity. Most children crave time with their parents and board games are a great way to facilitate this and allow children to chat and spend some quality time with their parents without the distraction of the TV or game consoles. To make the night special, there are a few things you can do - extend bedtime; have some treats or prizes for everyone who plays; invite other family members to play, especially those who your children are close to or who are similar in age to your children. You can even allow your children to have their friends over to play as well. Once you have had one fun night playing board games, children will be much more enthusiastic about doing it again.
If you have a question about playing board games with your children, you can contact us at games@hasbro.ie